The Dame has been chatting to some of her well placed political sources(discreetly, for they don't know her true identity). For the benefit of her devotees she can tell you it is chaos out there.
Mr Spalding, a very well placed source, and closely connected to Der Leader, tells the Dame that the Conservative candidate selection process is a real old muddle. Anxious to avoid the embarrassment caused selecting a porn star for Brompton Ward Party, Der Leader is taking a personal interest and has removed Louis Vuitton loving agent Mr Frazer-Howells from day to day control. Mr Spalding tells the Dame Der Leader has known for 11 months of the potential by election so has a 'poodle' in mind. Der Leader evidently flew into one of his rages when he heard that J F-H had got the date wrong. Needless to say the ward will have no say at all: it will be in the gift of Der Leader von Cockle.
Not much better in the Labour coop. It seems that they too are short of a candidate and are running around like headless chickens.
left: Labour headless chickens
So what of the Lib Dems? Now that organisational brainbox, Professor Meltzer is no longer around it seems that they too are under stress.
All in all it could be a record low turnout....