Just now the Dame's hot line from Pooter Cockell's Town Hall penthouse suite trilled.
"Dame, I am absolutely furious. I have just seen a letter in the Standard today. Your supporter, J. Downes, accuses my Council of forcing NSL to issue a minimum of 309,000 tickets, 15,000 clamping and 9,000 towings. He says it has stopped shoppers driving into the Rotten Borough and shops were closing down. Then he said I was making £130,000 a year from being Leader and chairman of LGA-that's not true: it's only £122,000. To cap it all he accused me of not making the LGA do anything to persuade government to reduce business rates: I am going to write an angry letter, but what shall I say"?
The Dame was pensive before coming out with this advice. " Pooter, firstly, put this Downes fellow in his place. Say he got your allowance wrong and you just scrape by on £2,400 a week or £123,000 a year. That will get you a sympathy vote"
Then say that it was Cllr 'Boyo' Moylan who organised the NSL contract.
Finally, say that it's not the role of the LGA to embarrass Dave when you are waiting to be made Lord Pooter Cockell"
" Dame, you are such a genius...thank you, but just one thing. My lad, Rock gave a bash for local business; should I mention it? " "Of course not, Pooter, replied a weary Dame, it cost taxpayers thousand of pounds and was an utter waste of money". "Very well, Dame, I will get on with my letter writing".
|Click on text to read Downes's annoying letter|