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DAMESATHOME@YAHOO.CO.UK
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Monday, 29 October 2012

CONSERVATIVE AGENT KICKS UP A STINK IN CHELSEA

An URGENT update from our friends at the K&C Chronicle.....

"AN ENVELOPE of excrement has been found in a Conservative party building on Manor Street Chelsea this morning.
The Bomb disposal unit, police and the ambulance service were called to the Kensington and Chelsea Conservative's building on Manor Street at 9:30 this morning after reports of a smelly suspect package which turned out to be an envelope full of poo.
It is not known if the faeces was human or from a dog.
Police received a call from Mr Fraser-Howells at the Conservative offices who said he had found an envelope which must have been delivered over the weekend which 'did not look or smell right and was soft to the touch'. "
It would be wrong to conjecture that this was a politically motivated crime: it could well be a revenge attack on Mr Fraser-Howells....he has made many enemies, besides being cordially disliked by Pooter.....

 
Who was the Louis Vuitton clad character screaming hysterically in Chelsea Manor Street this morning? It seems it was our local agent, Jonathan Fraser-Howells warning all who would listen that a suspicious package had been found in the local Tory Party HQ.

SUSPICIOUS AGENT
In moments the entire street had been sealed off with the Met's finest and the Bomb Squad checking over the suspicious item. So serious was the threat that local flats and offices were evacuated.

Fortunately, the suspicious looking package turned out to be nothing more dangerous than some male beauty treatments that Jonathan had ordered and forgotten all about....

  


41 comments:

  1. more anti tory press from the Labour stooges at the Hornet

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh stop taking everything so seriously! As a matter of record it came from a Lib Dem stooge doing a work out at the the gym. Now get a grip and remember that the Dame is apolitical. She just thinks that there are some shady and common types who have taken over the our dear council for their own financial ends....
    Soon you will be telling us that Ex Mayor Phelps and ex Cllr Lamont were badly treated by the wonderful Dame!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Todays lie is .....

    "the Dame is apolitical"

    ReplyDelete
  4. 21:07
    Normally the Dame-being rather grand- would not spend too much time 'dialoguing'with you. However, being a generous spirited old thing she has decided to 'put you right'. The Dame has a problem with a council whose leading lights seem to have had issues over the wasting of taxpayer's money on jaunts to New York and Boston...all First Class and others who seem to have criminal and repulsive interest in under age children. The Dame is disgusted by their activities. So better to be apolitical, rather than amoral!

    ReplyDelete
  5. A most unfortunate Agent in a most unfortunate Conservative Association. But the clear out is coming

    ReplyDelete
  6. Did nit his ex-partner end up in prison for theft?

    ReplyDelete
  7. spelling again

    ReplyDelete
  8. It could be...or do you think it could be a typo...perhaps you need to find something a little more 'vital' to do rather than picking up on obvious typos

    ReplyDelete
  9. I thought we agreed that any mistakes must be the work of Palmer - therefore we know who is writing comments

    ReplyDelete
  10. Fragrant Agents are never at their best in a crisis. Pity that FH was on the premises when his deodorant arrived

    ReplyDelete
  11. Frazer-Howells is another candidate for the clear out which must be coming soon. The good people of K&C will have to cross the road carefully to avoid being hit by the deluge of poodles on their bikes

    ReplyDelete
  12. So this was a Poo-ter

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