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DAMESATHOME@YAHOO.CO.UK
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Sunday, 3 August 2014

SIR POOTER ADDRESSES HIS NEW FINANCIAL LIFEBELT


The first image of Sir Pooter Cockell making his inaugural speech as chairman of this weird little lobbying outfit, Cratus.
He certainly looks to be leading a dynamic looking bunch!

Pooter is telling the team that they need to expand internationally and he looks forward to making a round the world new business generation trip. 
That should drag Cratus well and truly into the red.

The lady with her finger to her lips is Miss Piggins of Accounts.
She has heard of Sir P's gigantic expense claims and has been told to keep a close eye on him....
Pooter is hoping that Rock F-M will appoint Cratus to lobby to overturn the Norfolk Bumpkins opposition to his housing estate(see proceeding story)

20 comments:

  1. Miss Piggins will have her work cut out following Cockle's expenses. The rotter is unlikely to have changed his spots and no doubt thinks that a "position" in the private sector will give him more leeway with his wayward ways.

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  2. This new job for Pooter, in consultants' parlance, is "rainmaker". He needs to trawl his local Government contacts and drum up business. Otherwise he is "out".

    Grubby.

    What the residents of Kensington and Chelsea need to point out is that gamekeepers cannot be poachers as well. Time for Pooter to step down as a councillor of the Royal Borough. Clear conflict of interest.

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  3. Fly On The Wall3 August 2014 at 20:13

    Pooter's colleagues will soon get used to boring andembarasssing telephone calls along the lines of:

    "Hello Nick, Merrick here. I notice that the Hornet is having another go at subsidies for Holland Park Opera and it is difficult for the in house PR operation to mount a defense. As you know Fitzpatrick has told you that it is a difficult wicket. Well we would be happy to take on the project for a modest retainer of £120k per year. We guarantee a stream of good editorial coverage for the venture and will make a compelling value for money case".

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    Replies
    1. Cockle is more devious than this. He learnt a thing or three from his mates at Tribal who did some pro bono headhunting for new Councillors as a sweetener for bigger and more lucrative contracts in Hornton Street. Good PR for Tribal and put Tribal on the inside track.

      Watch out for Pooter "pro bonos"

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    2. A Pooter boner?

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  4. The Cratus boner. A new business strategy for the high flying political consultants

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  5. Sadly, Miss Piggins is in fact Lady Cockell, Karen. She looks desperately worried, poor thing, about his brand new bunch of friends.

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    Replies
    1. Is Pooter now recruiting friends and family into his new company? This takes troughing to new levels

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    2. The habit of recruiting friends and family is well known in Eastern Europe and India. Western companies operating in countries like Poland found out that it can be very dangerous to recruit a local HR Manager. In the blink of an eye, his whole family would be on the books within a matter of days.

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    3. E European practices are well known to Pooter since that is where his family came from

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  6. Person Familiar With The Situation4 August 2014 at 08:50

    Having driven through the creation of the Tri Borough, Cllr Cockell is looking at one of the major cock ups of the arrangement (the new contract to transport handicapped children of the Borough) as a business opportunity for CRATUS. "Reputation Management" is the new buzz word for Political Consultancies like CRATUS and the fall out from this disastrous Tri Borough decision is a heaven sent opportunity for the ex Leader. A juicy "Reputation Management" contract with Hornton Street that would carry the customary 2.5% commission for the new "rainmaker" Chairman could be just the breakthrough to put a smile on Merrick's face.

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    Replies
    1. Pass the sick bag, Dame

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    2. "Person Familiar with The Situation" is not so familiar. Pooter's Cactus contract includes a 10% commission (not 2.5%) on business that he introduces to the company

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  7. North Kensington Resident4 August 2014 at 08:56

    Cracking, cracking

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  8. Friend of the Family4 August 2014 at 20:14

    Yes, Cllr Cockell's mother is of German/Austrian Jewish descent and escaped to England avoiding the horrors of the Holocaust.

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  9. This is true - and why is he not proud of his origins rather than seeking to masquerade as an English gentleman, when it is perfectly clear to us all that he is far more exotic than that.

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  10. The idea of Pooter being exotic is a lovely one. The only 'exotic' thing about him are his expenses

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  11. Was his father not an ex-pat with few English connections? Is this why he sent his son to DoTheBoysHall to be bullied and made to feel inferior about his unusual origins? The school was closed down for various unpleasant reasons - and has a survivors' website and group. Is Merrick a survivor, was he badly damaged by the experience?

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  12. More on Pooter here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merrick_Cockell

    Perhaps we can add a few facts to it!

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  13. I have been a regular visitor of this site and I love reading blogs posted here.They are truly very well written,precise and to the point. Thanks.

    Independent Financial Adviser Bristol & Annuity advice Bristol

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