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DAMESATHOME@YAHOO.CO.UK
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Sunday, 15 May 2016

THE EU EXPLAINED FOR SIMPLETONS

The Dame is a foolish and vapid old thing so she struggles to understand all this referendum chatter.
A LISTENING DAME

Luckily, the chairman of a local resident's association wrote the below using an RA analogy to explain how the EU works. 
It's well worth a good read and helped the Dame.






Once upon a time, a man moved into a house.
He kept a few chickens. His next door neighbour made jam.
After a while, they got chatting over the fence & he gave her a box of eggs which she accepted. In kindness, she gave him a jar of her homemade jam in return.
This became a regular thing. 
It was a trade between them & they got on fine.

But nearby they have a nasty bossy neighbour Mr Pluncker who wants to control everyone. 
He runs the local residents association that has high membership fees.
He tells them they will benefit if they join the residents association it will enable them to meet more of their neighbours & network so they may be able to sell more eggs & jam to their neighbours.

So they join. It has seven other members at the time. This all worked OK. But, after a while, the residents association committee started giving them advice on how to run their own households.

Then some affordable housing was built nearby with poor people in. 
They are allowed to join the residents association, but instead of having to pay a membership fee, being poor,  they actually get paid to join.
After a few years, the membership expanded to 28 households.
Half of them were poor households and benefitted from free membership. 
Some of the poorer ones even receive money from the association each year.

After a while, the residents association committee started getting bored & wanted more power to do something ‘exciting’ & ‘visionary’ & ‘bold’.
 So they gave a few of the poor countries Wonga Wonga type loans, on which the association got commission, as a nice little earner,  from Mr  Goldman and Mr Sachs. They had a bank in the town and were good friends of  Mr Pluncker.
You see, the residents association doesn't actually have that much money, so it borrows the money to lend to the poor residents.

The man with the chickens also had a large pond with lovely koi carp that breed & he sells the fish. 
But the association took a vote & decided he should let the other residents come & take out 80% of his fish so they too could sell them. 
Of course, he voted against this but got outvoted. But this was all perfectly fine because the decision followed the democratic process.

The nasty bossy neighbour Mr Pluncker who runs the association then started telling residents how they should run their households. He even made it a condition of their loans. 
If you don't do as I say then the loans stop & I'll have your car off you.

This rule secretly got extended to all residents. When they sign their annual subscription fee it's written in the small print that  ''No single member of the association will be permitted to make any decisions on how to run their own households without a vote being taken on it''
The idea was sold to the residents on the basis that they will all get to vote on whether they're permitted to do this or that in their own house, so it's completely democratic.

Furthermore, each member is told - ''New rules on how you are to run your household will be generated for you & you must obey. You will, of course, be given a chance to vote on the new rules as this is a democracy’’
  
The reality of this wonderful new democracy is that 84% of the residents get out voted by sheer force of numbers. Meaning that whatever was right & appropriate for one household was probably not right & appropriate for another;no exceptions were allowed. 
Every household had to do exactly the same as the other households thanks the democratic ‘community method’
But no matter. Everything is voted on so it's all perfectly democratic.

Residents are also told to leave their front doors unlocked so other members can wander into their house & stay as long as they wish. 
The poor people especially love this.

Some residents wonder where their money is going. 
But when they ask to see the association accounts they are always refused. 
And they wonder how Mr Pluncker the chairman of the residents association ever got voted in by the committee. 
Turns out he was the only candidate in a secret ballot.

Half of the residents think this is perfectly OK. Frankly they're rather timid & pathetic and feel if they were to leave the association it would be A LEAP IN THE DARK. 
They'd be ostracised from their neighbours & wouldn't know what to do or how to run their households.

In fact, after so many years of being told what to do, they've lost all confidence that they could ever run their households again. 
So they just go along with everything without complaining.

Besides, the poor ones have little choice. 
The association now holds their purse strings.

When any neighbours suggest they might all be better leaving the association, they get called ‘xenophobes’ meaning they must have a morbid fear & loathing of their neighbours in wanting to leave.

The motto of the new democratic residents association is 'Pay & obey'.


And they all didn't live happily ever after........

22 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Well put. The Britex people should be given a copy of this, so that it may be made into a leaflet and distributed nationwide...plain and simple, that is what is needed....
    oh, love the Dame's bijoux...

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  3. Yes, and some households found that others, the majority, lived under rules which were far more bureaucratic that theirs, so found that the bossy residents association was not acceptable. Whereas the inhabitants of these households found ways round the bossiness. And lived happily ever after.

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  4. Very helpful, like the leaving your front door open for your neighboours come and stay as long as they like. Pertinent analogy.

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    Replies
    1. :-) indeed... in my case my relatives rather than neighbours..

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  5. An excellent sumnation

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  6. Old people like us should not be voting on the future of our descendants. Sadly, the old people will win and we will probably take a disastrous decision that we won't be around to endure.

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    Replies
    1. Yay, we're leaving Europe! So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen & Goodbye!

      Delete
  7. In reality there's little difference between In and Out. The Out campaign is largely made up of a bunch of old blokes formerly in a position to tax us and dictate to us on every aspect of our lives. They now complain that another - foreign - bunch of blokes are able to do the same. The No blokes want a return to their particular "status quo."

    Agreed with 8.38 that the old should not dictate the future of the young.

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    1. OAP what you smoking? Our time in Europe has been disasterous and the best example is immigration whilst we have allowed a million Eastern Europeans into Great Britain unchecked, making lower paid and low skilled jobs unavailable to students in university and those leaving school since 2004.

      Young black men being the most effected by this influx.

      Eastern Europeans are racists, homophobes and anti-semetic but we deny entry to those of our commonwealth Australian, Africans, Canadians, Indians and Asians who we have a familial connection. Millions who fought fascism in two world wars alone denied a right to work or live in this country.

      We are not European in any sense, even though most of Kensington & Chelsea resembles a European state now.

      Delete
  8. How dare you! The Dame may be ten years off getting her telegram from HM, but she is just as entitled to vote as some young 'un like her dear young friend, Cllr Moylan.
    Cllr Moylan, as he constantly tells us, is very clever and he wants 'out'.
    Seriously though, it's all academic.
    The EU biz plan is so flawed that unless it's drastically overhauled th whole thing will go kaput in a few years.
    Anyway, my Ludo says he is an 'outer'

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  9. Calm down dear! It's likely that even if the UK remains in the EU, the shock of the referendum debate will give Brussels the fright it so sorely needs!

    A stiff dose of democracy would be a good start followed by an even stiffer dose of a set of accounts the auditors can sign.

    It's high time the EU gave itself a good look in the mirror and joined the 21st century, a place where China is already the world's second largest economy and India is resurgent. This is not a "new" order, but a return to the the thousands of years before the European imperialists stole the immense wealth of Asia.

    Dreamtime is over. Population is wealth. We need immigrants because they work, pay tax and have babies who will support the UK's future prosperity by working and paying tax. Some of them may even continue to care for us ancient Brits in our dotage.

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    1. I didn't know that young Britains don't work, pay tax or procreate. My, my, learn something from OAP who has been nowhere and done nothing.

      Not all Europeans pay tax, that is bull. Many Eastern Europeans connected to crime; brothels, people smuggling, drugs and arms smuggling. Europeans do not intergrate, pleased to see them bugger off. No manners!

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  10. Is Fulham & Chelsea MP Greg Hands a remainer because of his properties in France & Germany?

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  11. Young Brits nowhere near procreate at a level sufficient to replace the existing population. Not all of any group pay tax or are law abiding etc. But their UK educated children & grandchildren will be as British as the rest of us. Just look at the descendants of the Polish armed forces who wisely chose to remain in the UK after WWII. The descendants of the German POWs who stayed on are also fully integrated into the general population.

    Fear of foreigners has a long history in Britain. In the 15th century the London mob rioted against Flemish weavers imported by the King, because they had superior weaving skills. The Flemings are doubtless still with us, as are millions of other former immigrants. Like the rest of us, they largely work and pay tax.

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    1. THIS IS NOT BRITISH XENOPHOBIA. You're an idiot, the British are the least xenophobic in Europe and the greater world. Rascism in America is inherent part of their society. Spanish, French and Eastern Europeans rascism comes naturally to them, just go to the football matches over there.

      The Parisians drowned 200 Algerians in Paris and that was in the 20th Century post war.

      The British have been an multicultural society since time in memorial because we are the most seafaring in the world. We have had black and indian sailors in our navy during the napoleonic war.

      Where is your evidence they pay tax?

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  12. Young Brits nowhere near procreate at a level sufficient to replace the existing population. Not all of any group pay tax or are law abiding etc. But their UK educated children & grandchildren will be as British as the rest of us. Just look at the descendants of the Polish armed forces who wisely chose to remain in the UK after WWII. The descendants of the German POWs who stayed on are also fully integrated into the general population.

    Fear of foreigners has a long history in Britain. In the 15th century the London mob rioted against Flemish weavers imported by the King, because they had superior weaving skills. The Flemings are doubtless still with us, as are millions of other former immigrants. Like the rest of us, they largely work and pay tax.

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    1. Poles had to stay in England because Stalin had Poland in its grasp get your history right you cretin. It was either stay here safely or go to a gulag in the USSR via Warsaw.

      Poles in this country today are not the same as those who fought during WWII. Earls Court & South Ken already had a strong Polish community who were integrated. Those arriving today do not integrate, do not respect our values and certainly not our laws.

      We pay Poland through the EU and pay again through welfare and housing. This is not right.

      The accounts of the EU have not been signed off since early nineties. It's a scam, and your playing your part by perpetuating the myth that Britain is stronger in Europe.

      Get behind thee satan!

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  13. My small businessman neighbour says he would be horrified if he had to depend on young Brits for his workforce. He finds his young Poles far superior in skills, commitment and hard work.

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    Replies
    1. Bollocks, a European report even said that the British work the longest hours and hardest.

      Obviously we must all be asleep taking a siesta, while these Eastern Europeans work their fingers to the bone.

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    2. The Europeans working over here don't pay VAT. That is why they employ them.

      They also don't pay their car fines too.

      Turning into Wild West.

      Vote Leave for a better Britain.

      Delete
  14. The idea that our social ills are due to our EU membership is tosh. Of course Polish airmen were desperate to avoid Stalin, as were many German ex-POWs. Within a generation or two they integrated, as has our West Indian community. It just takes time.

    The British work longer hours than others Europeans, but are far less productive than the French for example. This is partly due to the long term lack of investment in UK industry etc. The French work a 35 hour week, when their Far Eastern commercial competitors work 60 or 80 hours, as do ours.

    For 200 years UK industry has suffered from an education system that fails poor children. There's a chronic lack of high class early years' learning. So poor children often lack basic skills and never catch up with their more affluent peers. In the 21st century there are no unskilled jobs. So people trapped in low paid jobs and possibly drug addiction and crime.

    The affluent buy their children's education. The gap between our social classes is further amplified by the high cost of university education.

    We are a small, overcrowded island on the north west coast of Europe. The world is hardly waiting with baited breath for our goods and services. Remain in the EU.

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